dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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