I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
