he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
