well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
