Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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