I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
