You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
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Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
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Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
is it fun? or sober?
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