I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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