umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
