Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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