No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
