What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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