every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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