if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
