I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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