That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
