were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
