Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
