So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
