whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
