halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
