this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
