So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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