When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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