But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Randomize
