Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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