I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
