my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
