So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
