Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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