Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i want to swaddle you in tequila
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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