My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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