Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
