My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize