; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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