thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
