I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
dude. I can hear the air.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
