careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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