I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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