guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
God I need to hump something, right now.
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