fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
