Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
