You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
