Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
