IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't deserve a penis
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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