Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
