did you get engaged???
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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