guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
