nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize