I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
