True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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