Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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