i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
