you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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