Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
