all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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