In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
