1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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