He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
