There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Boobs are out for the taking
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
