420 ftw
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
