Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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