I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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