we have officially lost it.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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