...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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