She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
